If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
