My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
