trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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