I smell stomach acid.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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