i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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