you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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