i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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