is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
