I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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