You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Never underestimate the power of titties
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