I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
