just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
