he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
