sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
