**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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