if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
