I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Randomize
