This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
