I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
