Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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