I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
