Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
