Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
