What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
