she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
