Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
