Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
