He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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