and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
