1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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