I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
