i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
