Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
