Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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