You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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