she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
