I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
