Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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