she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
