It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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