Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
