do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
