Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
