actually, I'm a sock model
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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