Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
