I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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