I bet he comes in French.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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