i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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