Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
