Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
and she was petting her beer can
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
